Maggie's Garden

Yes.  We had a big fight in front of everyone who's working at the store this morning.  The breaking point was Mr. Hwang told me off again on not asking him certain questions in front of the clients.  Those questions, from my point of view, were not big deal which were BIG PROBLEMS to him.  Such as , if we could just sell the parts but not the whole thing.

After the argument, tears were rolling down from my eyes that were really hard to stop.  I pretended I was washing my hands at the sink, and tried very hard to pull those tears back.  Strangly enough, I just couldn't.  I kept telling myself that was not such a big deal to cry, but some strange feelings came out of my body together with those tears.  I thought, those were probably pressures from all these time since I started to work at the store.

Would it be these bloody rain?  Rainning and rainning all day long....  Rainy day gets me down.

The other thing happened this morning when I was cleaning my little girl's face.  A phone call from little aunty.  She asked when I would leave the house because uncle-in-law needed a ride to the bus station with my cousin.  At that point, my brain was not funtioning actively enough to give her a proper and polite respond.  I said "I haven't done my make-up." (Holly God, I regrated saying that right away!).  Off course that was not th reason that was good enough for her.  I think I've broken somthing between us.

The fact was, at the point of time in the moring my mind was only focused on getting my little girl to the kindergarten as early as I could.  At that point, she was not fully dressed and had not eaten any breakfast and she would jumped into any games and book reading without my notice.  Well, I didn't have enough time to explain all these to her since we were both in an hurry. 

Don't be so passimmistic, think of somthing to mend this up.